Forgiveness

 A few months ago, I led a study at a local church on the topic of forgiveness. It was a blessing to me to do the study and seemed to help those who attended. I thought it would be helpful to share some of the information with others. Here is my first posting on the topic.

How to Become a Forgiving Person:

How we need to pray:
Ps 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart;  test me and know my anxious thoughts.
 See if there is any offensive way in me,  and lead me in the way everlasting.

　
Ps 19:12-14 But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.  Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression. May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart  be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer

Keeping our focus:
Col. 3:12-13   Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
　

Mt 7:12   So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

　
Remember these principles about forgiveness:
It is a choice, not a feeling.
It is the power of God within us that enables us to forgive.
We must keep a watch for bitter roots and keep them rooted out! (Heb 12:14-15)
We must remember the tactics of Satan against us: Rev. 12
We must guard our own hearts with all diligence. Prov 4:23

The Process of Forgiving:
　
Being willing to call things as they are and to admit how something hurt us.
Do not pile up offenses before dealing with them.
Do not minimize how something affects you even if it does not seem rational at the time.
Don’t let others increase or decrease the reality of what hurt or offended you.
Understand your own sinfulness and be willing to ask God to forgive your reaction to someone.
Don’t minimize your offenses and maximize those of others.
No hypocrisy or false nice-ness.
Don’t look for others to fail so you will feel justified in how you react.
Remember that everyone thinks they are right, and sometimes they are!
Remember that no one has to deserve our forgiveness for it to be the right thing for us to do. We don’t deserve God’s forgiveness!
Surrender your need to be "king of queen of the hill."
No ‘speck-inspecting’ while a plank is in our own eyes.
Don’t try to do this on your own. Ask God for His help and mercy.
Let God handle the lies and innuendos and protect your reputation.
Ask God for forgiveness for your own reactions to the offenses.
Ask God for forgiveness for blaming Him for these bad things that happened to you.
As Him to show you what you might need to learn about yourself.

Steps to Healing:
　

Stay open with God.
Stay connected to your spiritual support group.
Yield to the process and accept it as necessary.
Give the Lord time to heal you.
Do not rewound yourself by thinking about and talking about the offense.
Pray blessings on those who have hurt you.
Change your negative thinking to positive thinking.
Remember the weakness and sinfulness of your own heart.
Practice treating others as you would have them treat you.
Keep the bitter roots out of your mind and heart. Do not nurture them!
Keep your spiritual disciplines strong and be on the alert for your Enemy and his tactics.
Start and continue praising God for the victory He will give you!